Goodbye

Well it's finally here.  The end of the year is upon us, and finals start next Wednesday.  So it's time I'm honest with whoever is out there viewing my blog.  I probably will not keep up with blog after the school year ends.  It's a sad truth, but it is the truth.  So, I thought I'd take some time and reflect back on my year in Open.  In a word, I would describe it as amazing.  This program has changed my entire mindset towards education and learning.  And that's thanks to some amazing teachers.  Kim Radostits, Jesse Glim, Aaron Sitze, and Cole Davidson are some of the most dedicated, passionate, kind, and giving teachers and people I've ever met.  They were there for me and my classmates every step of the way during this crazy year.  That exceedingly long description doesn't begin to cover how wonderful those four really are.  So this post is not only to say goodbye to my readers, but it is also a thank you to my teachers.  Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a student, for teaching me I can achieve anything, for showing me that I'm worth more than I think, and for valuing my education.  I'm sad I can't express in a better way how much you all mean to me, but I think if read this you'll understand what I getting at. So, one last time:  goodbye and thank you.

Project Update

I finally have a product.  After weeks of some really hard work and some weeks of not so hard work, I finally have a rough draft of my book.  It's funny as much as I love my project I really fell out of love with writing this book.  There were times when I absolutely hated.  I think part of it is I severely doubt my own writing ability.  And knowing that over the period of this project I asked myself several times, why would I pick something I'm not good at? or Why did I pick a project I don't enjoy?  I think the answer to the latter is that I did enjoy this project, or at least parts of it.  I loved sitting down and interviewing the residents of my local nursing home.  I loved learning about their lives and seeing where connected to mine.  The problem began when I tried to put those feeling into words, and I just got so frustrated because I felt like I wasn't doing these people justice.  These people who I have only gotten to know for a few short hours mean so much to me that I couldn't bear putting out a story telling their lives that wasn't befitting to them.  Now that I finally have finished writing, I wouldn't say I was exactly satisfied with the representation, but I am happier with it that I was a month ago.  I don't think I will ever actually be satisfied because I think to truly appreciate most people you have meet them and actually talk to them yourselves, but given that that's not a possibility, I think I did a pretty good job.  I think it's a really good thing that I was in Open while completing this project because while I never did seek out help when I fell out of love with my project, (though I probably should have) I knew the support would be there if I had.  Also, being in Open it allowed me plenty of time to sort out this problem by myself.  And as the year comes to a close, I am still so thankful I joined Open.

English Updates

As of today, I have completed my second set of standards!  I turned in my last essay of  sophomore year, and I couldn't be more proud!  (The infamous last essay was a court case write up on Nixon v. United States [1974] if you wondering.)  I'm so incredibly proud because as of midterms i was quite behind on my english standards, and by that I mean I had turned in basically nothing.  But in the past three weeks alone I turned in 5 paragraphs, 1 short essay, 4 single sitting responses, and 2 full length essays.  It's sorta a highlight of my procrastination skills, but i'm more ashamed of that than I am proud.  I'm proud of the determination I showed to complete these standards by the preset deadline.   It actually taught me an important lesson on long term planning and how necessary it is.    And it's all thanks to Open.  If I hadn't been in Open I never would have been allowed to put all of this work off until the last moment, and then I wouldn't have stressed over getting all my work done.  However, I was in Open so I do have these experiences that I can utilize when I go off to college!

Personal Growth

Finals are beginning in a little over two weeks.  That means that my first year in the Open Program is coming to a close.  And while the stress of meeting deadlines and studying for exams are looming over my head, I can still take a moment to step back and truly appreciate the experiences I've had in the past year.  This program has really helped me learn who I am as a student as well as a who I am as a person.  I think I have really pushed my limits over the past year.  It was really a hard transition for me to be able to let of my old fixed mindset.  I now realize that my grades don't define who I am, and that only I can decide how much I really take away from my classes.  That being said I don't think I have completely abandoned my fixed mindset.  Grades still mean a lot to me, and while they don't define who i am as a person, I am a firm believer that they do help define my future.  Maybe I will never fully let go this half and half kind of mindset, but I have made a lot of progress from the person who I was at the beginning of the year.  And I think that's what really matters.

Math Update

Recently I have officially completed my Algebra II course work for the year.  As of this week, my final was graded and put into the grade book.  I would now be ready to dive right into Pre-Calculus except for the fact that I have some English standards that need attention along with some loose ends on my project that need tying up.  I'm so incredibly proud to be able to say I completed my first year of Open Math.  It was hard at some points but I think that made me a stronger student in general.  It's so much more rewarding knowing that I've completed a course almost solely because of my own determination and desire.  Of course my teachers were so much help even if they weren't directly teaching the lessons.  They were always there if I needed help, or if I needed a push to get back on task.  I am very thankful for all of them, and I am looking forward to another year of open next year.

Expanding My Culture

Over the weekend, my uncle got married to the girl on her dreams.  Their relationship was quite unlikely considering she was born in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.  They met in Rolla, Missouri while volunteering at a children’s event at their local theater.  That was eight years ago, and Tom and Shoba’s story is really one of perseverance and true love.  They might have gotten married a lot sooner, but the relationship was not totally condoned by Shoba’s parents as it didn't seem to be the ideal pairing.  Eventually Tom won them over, and now we can officially call Shoba one of the family.  Their wedding was an extraordinary combination of cultures.  It was a two night event with the first being a traditional Hindu ceremony.  While I could not understand any of Sanskrit that the priest used for all of the rituals, it was quite amazing to follow the events with my provided cheat sheet.  Some of the rituals included prayers to the god Ganesh, tying a necklace around the bride’s neck, and the exchanging of garlands.  All of these represented the promises the couple was making to each other or it was to give them luck in the coming years as a couple.  The ceremony was three hours long which is quite short compared to the standard time of several days.  The second night was a standard Christian ceremony but with a couple of twists.  The food was mostly Indian, the sister of the bride put together a Bollywood dance routine, and there was a lot of Indian pop music.  Overall it was really cool to see the meshing of the two cultures, and it was amazing to see Tom and Shoba so happy.  Below I have included some pictures from both ceremonies. 

       

Overcoming Satge Fright

You’d think stage fright would be something I’d gotten over a long time ago considering I’ve been heavily involved with theater and the arts since junior high. And I have relatively speaking. I never get opening night jitters, and having a full house at a band concert doesn’t even phase me. But stage fright is exactly the words I would use to describe my feelings a couple weeks ago. Our school district has a meeting every year where each school in the district presents a program they’ve been working on to better the school. The Open Program was slated to be the program presented by the high school. The “best” part was that the participants of OP would get to present. So we put together a slide show and each person had one slide and one minute. There I was with my minute speech prepared, and I was almost paralyzed with fear. I hadn’t run through it once without messing up, and now I had to do it for every teacher in the whole district. Well there was no way out of it so I took a deep breath and just went for it. My hands shook so hard that I’m surprised I could hold onto the mic, but I think it went pretty well. My classmates did an amazing job though, much better than me. If you want to watch the presentation I’ll put the link below. This link will take you to our google drive page and the very first icon is the video. There also pictures from that event and other activities we've done. https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B4KcrH0tHsbFZVBrd3hiVHlseGc&usp=drive_web

Another Check-In

Well it’s been quite a while since I last checked in…again. I’m kind of embarrassed at how badly I’ve been keeping up with this. I should probably update you on my project and academics. For my project, I have finished conducting the interviews and have started on the writing process. It’s kind of hard to measure progress in that area but I think I’m about half way done with those. With math, I have finished all of the chapters and I am going to take my final this coming week. I am a little behind with my English standards, but I am confident that I can get them done by the end of the year. I am finishing up a book to write a paper about, and I’m turning in an essay this coming week I did about racism in present day. Well that pretty much sums up my academic life right now, and I promise to actually check in more.

Overcoming Obstacles

Last week I completed something I have been avoiding for the longest time now. I made phone calls. Sounds like such a simple mundane task, right? To most it seems to be just that, but to me it was a monumental road block. I’ve never been comfortable making or receiving phone calls unless it was someone I knew personally. At work, I used to avoid being near the phone just so I wouldn’t have to answer it if it rang. It causes me such incredible anxiety that I almost can’t place the call, so I am very proud of myself for completing this menial chore. Especially because it was so essential to my project. It’s the only way I can set up interviews. When I get stuck in situations like this, there is always one question: why? Why do phone calls give horrible anxiety? Well, I did some research and it turns out that telephobia is an actual phobia. That surprised me because it sounds so silly; it’s simply the fear of telephones. Though that doesn’t answer what the actual cause of anxiety is, and that is very vital information because truthfully I can be a very anxious person. According to WebMD the most common external cause of anxiety is stress from any number of different sources like school and work. That was expected, and with deadline of semester project looming in front of me it is understandable why I could be stressed. I also found that anxiety can be linked to medical causes such as hypoglycemia, or abnormally low blood sugar levels. I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia about two years ago, and while it doesn’t account for the anxiety I experience specifically when I need to use the phone, it does account for the day to day I endure. If any of you also have trouble making phone calls the biggest tip I can give you is to make a script for yourself! It makes the ordeal way less stressful and unpredictable. I hope this helps anyone who experiences the same thing or entertained the people who don’t!

Updates

     Before I update you on the events that have happened since I last posted I would like to formally apologize for being absent from my blog for so long.  I believe the last time I updated you was back in October....embarrassing. And kind of unprofessional now that I think about it, but it's in the past now.
      Let's start with acquisition of skill.  If you have forgotten because it's been so long, I was supposed to master ten yoga poses and present them to the class.  That presentation happened back at the end of November, and I feel like it went really well. I managed to perform my poses all successfully.  It surprised with how well it went because I was nervous, so I thought I might fall or something. Looking back on this now I realize how much I miss doing yoga. I have not been doing it due to lack of time and commitment, but I think I am going get back into it because it was a good stress reliever. And I have a lot of stress right now.
      That brings us to my next update.  The project.  For my semester project I am conducting interviews with residents at my local nursing home and compile those into a book of memoirs.  I doing this with two purposes.  Firstly, I am hoping to make an impact in younger people's live by helping them to understand the importance of learning from people who have already gone through adolescence, so the teens do not make the same mistakes.  Secondly, I want to provide the residents at the nursing home with company.  So back in December, we had two presentations.  We had the Open Faire. That was a public presentation where anyone from the community could come and see what anyone from the Open Program was doing for their semester project.  Then we had our presentation to the school board.  This presentation was used so the school board could approve our project and our continuation in the program.  Since I am writing to you now, you could probably assume it went very well.  Currently, I have conducted four of the nine interviews I plan on completing.  Also, I have finished writing the introduction and first chapter of the book.  I working on the second chapter right now.  Those are all the updates I have for now so hopefully my absence from updating will significantly less than last time.